You Are Allowed to Feel Both: Gratitude and Grief During the Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many people, especially those who have experienced surgery, illness, trauma, loss, or major changes to their body, this season can feel complicated.

It's possible to feel grateful for where you are today while also grieving what has changed. These feelings can exist together, and one does not invalidate the other.

After a mastectomy, reconstruction, gender-affirming surgery, or any experience that alters your relationship with your body, the holidays can bring up unexpected emotions. Family gatherings, photos, conversations, and traditions may serve as reminders of what life once looked like and how it feels different now. Experiencing those emotions does not mean you are ungrateful. It simply means you are human.

Gratitude does not erase grief, and grief does not mean that healing isn't happening. Healing is rarely linear, and it certainly does not follow a schedule that aligns with holidays or milestones.

During this season, there is often pressure to remain positive and focus only on strength, survival, or silver linings. While those perspectives can be meaningful, they do not tell the whole story. It's okay if your body still feels unfamiliar. It's okay if joy feels quieter than it once did, or if it shows up in different ways.

At Studio Evrē, we believe that restoration is not about fixing something that is broken. Instead, it is about creating space for choice, autonomy, and reconnection with your body. For some, that reconnection comes through areola restoration. For others, it may be scar camouflage, inkless revision, or simply having a conversation that honors where they are in their healing process.

As the holidays approach, we encourage you to soften your expectations of yourself. You do not need to love your body to treat it with respect. You do not need to feel fully healed to deserve care. You do not need to explain your emotions to anyone else.

If you are moving through this season holding both gratitude and grief, know that you are not alone. Both feelings are valid, and both deserve space. Healing can be quiet, gradual, and deeply personal, and that is more than enough.